Is This Mindset Costing You? Pt 1


"The biggest risk is not taking risks. In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” 

— Mark Zuckerberg



We're halfway into January, and I wonder what the fitness studios look like. 


By default, most people have already abandoned their New Year resolutions.


Maybe, like me, you've faltered on your good intentions.


The first few days, like a bright-eyed bushy-tailed squirrel, I was up and out of the door for that 1st-thing-in-the-morning walk.

Then...

Well, then, it got REALLY cold last week! Like snowing, frost-bite cold.

The hit-the-snooze-button-and-roll-over-in-my-warm-snuggly-bed mode won.  

And it's been winning the whole week. *facepalm*


But the year is young, and winter will end, so I'm reassessing my options. 

A few missed days don't mean I'm throwing in the towel on my 2025 physical goals.


The all-or-nothing mindset is a silent killer of New Year’s goals—because, let’s face it, change is never a walk in the park. On a subconscious level, because our brain is designed to conserve energy and protect us, change is akin to using more energy. So, the brain detects that as a threat and tries to keep us safe in the status quo.

I mean, my limbic system’s long-term memory isn’t entirely wrong; being born and raised in a warm East Africa, I could literally freeze to death in this cold climate. Snoozing on is staying alive :-)

A gentle disclaimer: My musings, tips, and concepts are based on personal experience, research, observation, and working with clients. We're all different - which is a good thing, and what works for one may not work for another.

You're the expert in your life, so feel free to take what resonates and leave the rest. Now, let's get to today's installment with practical examples.


Back to the conscious level. 

Unfortunately, we often convince ourselves that one skipped workout or a single late-night cookie means the entire plan is ruined, so why not abandon ship altogether? It’s like spotting one typo in a sentence and deciding to delete the entire presentation.

The perfectionist trap stalls progress and keeps us stuck in a cycle of unrealistic expectations, guilt, and procrastination. If you’ve ever tossed out an entire year's vision and goals because of one misstep, you’re not alone. And the stuckness cycle can be interrupted.


Let's look at the cost of this mindset, why it happens, and how to overcome it.


The cost of the all-or-nothing mindset

This fixed mindset is a common pitfall in the personal and professional lives of many ambitious people. And though it can fuel high performance in some areas, here are some ways it sabotages progress and the success you desire. 


1. Burnout:  The drive for perfectionism, "excellence" (whatever that even means), and the unsustainable push to get it all right harms our well-being. It leads to exhaustion and a slew of health challenges related to chronic stress.


2. Stagnation: The all-or-nothing mindset can keep us trapped in a "yo-yo" cycle of overexertion and abandoning ship. Like running on a hamster wheel or stepping off a treadmill—you're constantly moving but not really getting anywhere.


3. Habit Inconsistency: Forming healthy habits takes time, but with this fixed mindset, minor setbacks derail long-term progress, making it harder to achieve meaningful change.

4. Loss of Confidence: Repeated cycles of starting and quitting undermine self-trust and belief in one's ability to change. Giving up on oneself is a heavy, heavy price to pay.


5. Missed Opportunities: By abandoning a new habit after a slip-up (even a small one like my morning walk), we miss the chance to benefit from cumulative, incremental progress down the line.



Some common causes:

      • Perfectionism: As ambitious folks, we can set lofty goals for ourselves and expect flawless execution. We view mistakes or missed steps as evidence of inadequacy and a lack of discipline.


      • Overcommitment: Driven individuals tend to take on too many goals at once. The self-induced pressure to perform can lead to overwhelm and trigger a short-term decision to quit entirely after faltering temporarily.


      • Unrealistic Expectations: The external pressure to meet societal expectations—whether from the boss, family, peers, or social media—can be real. Not meeting other's standards can create a sense of failure, leaving little room for self-compassion or flexibility with our goals.


        • Instant Gratification Culture: We're used to getting fast and furious results. (Slow internet brings out the worst in me) When we don’t see immediate or dramatic progress, we get discouraged and feel like our efforts were just a waste of time.


        • Performance-driven identity: High achievers often link their identity to their success. I do; therefore, I am...Anything less than 100% can feel like settling or failing to reach their potential, so why even bother?



        To be continued in part 2

        In the next installment, we'll look at seven simple ways to overcome the all-or-nothing mindset. I'll also update you on how that winter walk is going. 

        Maybe I'll share a photo in an Eskimo outfit :-) 

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